Book Notes, Fiction # The Vegetarian  By Han Kang, 2007 ★★☆☆☆ First read: August 2022 --- Fleshy, edgy, a little bit too lewd for my taste.  Reminded me why I like Asian porn - Asian women in porn, they have this.. surrender to pleasure, that is very hot to watch. The book builds on a fascination for the unknown corners of the mind, that I don’t resonate with. Similar to how epilepsy fascinated and frightened generations of authors back when we didn’t have a name for it. Coincidentally, I stumbled on a science writer’s thread on trees at about the same time as I was reading this book about a woman turning into a tree. Discovering that trees are not a thing, phylogenetically, was way more awe-inducing than reading this novel. “A tree is not a member of a formal taxonomic group, but rather a way of being a plant (tall, branching, enduring) that has evolved independently many times. There is no single family of trees or Great Tree Ancestor. A tree is a strategy that has bloomed, withered and resprouted over and over since plants came on land. Because =='tree' is a human concept to describe a way of being a plant==, different people prefer different definitions. The strictest definitions require trees to have true wood and secondary growth; a trunk, branches, and leaves; and to be a certain minimum height and thickness. But in the most generous definition: if a plant is tall, branching, and long-lived—it's a tree. Or rather, it’s being a tree.  A tree is something plants can grow into and out of.  ==A tree is strategy. A tree is style==.”  ## Quotes Pg 107.  “I wish I were dead. So die. I wish I were dead. So die.” “He couldn't understand why the words '*I wish I were dead*' were ceaselessly hammered out inside his head, nor could he understand why the words '*So die*' would inevitably follow. And he couldn't understand how that simple mantra, like a conversation between two strangers, could be sufficient to calm his shuddering body.” * Does everyone have this? I have this. A version of this two-line short dialogue in my head, repeated like a mantra. From as far back as I can remember. Two different voices. And with the same calming effect. Does everyone have this? I also have _"I hate my life and want to die"_ similarly repeated like a mantra, though no response for this one. 'Have; here means I'm both the sayer and the hearer, the teller and the listener. It used to make me so uncomfortable, this line in my head, which I often said out loud as well. How dare I say this? How utterly disproportionate to the intensity of the thing that triggered it: the water was too cold, or I tripped on something and hurt my toe, or something similarly banal. Something derisory. But now is fine, it's just meant to calm me down. It's just a harmless release.